i love you, but
by Macaulay10
Summary: A Luke and Lorelai tale-- Nicole and Luke make a decision to benefit their marriage. But Luke has trouble finding the benefits after the fact. Contains SPOILER information in a very small way.
1. the trouble with love

This is set about two months from this past episode "I Louvre You".. Lorelai is dating Jason, and Luke and Nicole are together and still married.  
  
Lorelai stood up, angrily, and ran for the door, not believing her ears. "You're telling me.. you were working WITH your father? Not against him as you had everyone---- myself included, remember me? girlfriend you claim to tell everything to----believe? You were working FOR your father, which implies that you were working AGAINST my father? I was.. what, I was just part of the plan?"  
  
"Lorelai," Jason started-----  
  
"Oh, no, buddy, this is where I talk and you listen. I.... so you used me?"  
  
"No, I didn't... that sounds so dirty."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but that is JUST what that is! You USED me, as part of the plan to make everyone believe that you couldn't POSSIBLY be working AGAINST my father, but instead, against his COMPETITION, aka YOUR father! You were working for my father, dating his daughter, and no one would ever think you weren't being honest, when in reality you were being the OPPOSITE of honest! You were being mean!"  
  
"Mean's not really the opposite of----" Jason trailed off, noticing her look.  
  
Lorelai put on her best fake smile, as if she were a ten-year-old schoolgirl. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Stiles, is it time for our grammar lesson? JASON! Dating you has put an even bigger rift in my relationship with my mother, which was beyond fragile, it was more like 'look at it, and it might break' and that was THEN, forget now, and... I find out that this was all.... a scheme. To win us all over? To lull us into a false sense of security so you could give your daddy information that would help him beat mine? If you wanted to be a double-crosser, FINE.. but WHY did you drag me into it? You trampled on my feelings, my mother's feelings, and tomorrow, when my dad finds out about this, his too. Did we DO something to you when you were little, that you have this Montegue-Capulet need to make us all suffer? Do you hope that your doings will lead us all to suicide? Is that what you want? Although this is a horrible analogy, because if this WERE Romeo and Juliet, you'd be on MY SIDE!"  
  
And with that, Lorelai was out the door.  
  
Meanwhile, at Luke's-----  
  
Luke was taking a much needed break from working, as Nicole had shown up for dinner. She was telling him a story about her day, and she was laughing.... and he felt good, just watching her talk, so into her story. He was enjoying this feeling of having someone who wanted to tell him anything and everything. A first call in the morning, and a last call at night. He sipped his water and listened, while his mind was thinking about this. As the meal went on, the conversation turned a little more serious.  
  
"You know, Luke, we've been dating for awhile now, and it's been nice. And.. you know we're still married. And neither one of us is making a move to proceed with the divorce," Nicole started, as Luke just nodded in agreement. "And I don't know. This might work. Permanently. Do you agree? Even a little?"  
  
Luke thought it over, and realized that he did agree. He liked her a lot, maybe even loved her. They got along, she loved him, and it was nice to have someone full time who wanted and needed him as well. "Yeah," he finally muttered.  
  
"Do you ever think about children?"  
  
"As like, a collective unit?"  
  
"No, as like... your own children. Having children. Or at least one."  
  
He had actually been thinking about it lately, he realized. He knew he wanted children. Or at least one. "I think about it, sure."  
  
"I just think you and I might wanna revaluate our relationship. This could be the real thing, Luke, and I really want for both of us to do what we can to make it work."  
  
In that moment, he completely agreed with her. He was starting to think he'd otherwise always be alone. And having her for all these months, he knew he didn't want to grow old alone. "Okay," he said, urging her on.  
  
"Well," she trodded forth, cautiously. "We have to make sure we're doing everything we can to make the other person happy, right?"  
  
"Right," he answered. It sounded right to him.  
  
"Okay, so... are there any things that I do, or people I talk to, or things I say or anything else, that annoy you, or you'd like to be away with?"  
  
Luke thought about it. He searched his mind. If they were gonna be together forever, this was the time to let her know about things he didn't like. "Okay, well, you know those conventions and seminars and dinners you're always taking me to?"  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"I hate them. I hate getting dressed up. I hate talking to all those boring lawyers... uh, no offense... And I hate the event. It's like I never knew three hours could actually seem like ten. Ten," he finished.  
  
"Okay. No more dinners for you. Is that all?"  
  
He thought about it. "Yeah, I guess."  
  
"Alright, well, if we're gonna make this work, I will not ask you to any more stuffy occasions. Now let me think... Okay, I've got one thing too" she said, making the word "one" last for three seconds too long. "Lorelai."  
  
He looked confused. "Lorelai? Lorelai's not an occasion."  
  
"No," she said, trying to find a nice way to put this. "Okay, Luke be honest. Have you ever had feelings for Lorelai?"  
  
He started to protest, but she put a hand up. "Luke, this is ME you're talking to. I'm not shining a bright light in your face demanding the truth, I just want a simple, honest answer. I'm always honest with you."  
  
"Yes." He shifted uncomfortably and lowered the volume of his voice. He leaned in conspiratorially, as if they were government officials talking about the actual existence of extraterrestrials. "At one point, yes."  
  
She expected the answer. "Well see? This is the problem. Nothing can ruin a relationship like unrequited love in the way."  
  
"What are you talking about? Unrequited, as in NOT ever requited as in won't ever be requited. What's the problem? I'm with YOU, not her."  
  
"Right, but there's this Lorelai-tension because you liked her, but never got to be with her. It would be totally different if you two dated and it didn't work out and now you were friends, but this.. I can't ignore the 'what if' air that is always between you two. And since we're being honest- --- I don't like it."  
  
He sat back and took this in.  
  
"I'm sorry Luke. I mean, you two may never get together, and 'what if' is always there, but I can't raise a family with a man who has a close friend who shares a 'what if' air with him."  
  
"You lost me on the whole 'what if air' thing."  
  
"Luke, you know what I mean."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Do you want a family? Wife? Kids?"  
  
He really did. "Yeah," he said, barely audibly.  
  
"I will give you everything. The world, the stars, the moon, my life, a life for us, fatherhood, EVERYTHING.. all I want.."  
  
She hesitated, licking her lips, and he looked up at her a little fearfully.  
  
"I'm not asking you to wipe her out of your existence completely. Could you just maybe.. have less of her IN your existence? Have her keep a little distance, not be here ALL the time?"  
  
"You want less Lorelai."  
  
"Yes. Less Lorelai... A lot less."  
  
He stood up and walked angrily over to the counter. His silence was agreement, she knew that. He wasn't about to say "yes I will hurt a friend for US," but if he wasn't gonna do it, she'd know by now. She knew he wouldn't talk to her for the rest of the night, though, and she decided to leave.  
  
As Nicole was walking out the door, an eager-for-coffee-looking Lorelai was walking in. "Hi Lorelai," Nicole said, putting on a fake smile, which Lorelai had grown accustomed to. Lorelai smiled genuinely back, looking a little sad and distant. "Hey, Nicole."  
  
Luke watched the exchange in fear. Now his heart was in his stomach, and his palms had gone sweaty. He busied himself with a few orders when he noticed Lorelai bound over to the counter and plop herself down.  
  
Lorelai was done with being mad, and just wanted coffee now. She waited patiently, hoping to get some perspective on all this from Luke, and also to just share with her friend the injustice of it all.  
  
Luke poured coffee for a customer at a table, took a deep breath and headed back to the counter. He poured what he feared might be the last cup of coffee he would pour to Lorelai, his hand shaking just a little.  
  
"Listen," he started, before she could tell him anything about her day. And then he proceeded to pound on her already battered heart. 


	2. our wonderful new lives

Lorelai pushed open the door to "Java"... her new home, she thought sardonically to herself. Well, maybe her new home... home away from home, that is. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that this was a step in the right direction. She was doing this for herself; this was something that was hers. This place that she found. It had nothing to do with Jason Stiles. Nothing to do with Emily Gilmore. Nothing to do with Stars Hollow. Nothing to do with Luke Danes.  
  
She was having trouble ignoring that tickling feeling in her nose that she often got before crying, and she put her head up slightly higher, so as to maybe assure herself that she could do this. Take this step. Do this one thing completely on her own. Because that is how she felt she was. On her own. Alone in so many ways. So she told herself that she had to do something so she wouldn't die because of this new state she found herself in. She decided to embrace it instead. That first step into "Java" for her was a start to her new life in a way. Post-Rory leaving for school. Post-the Jason Stiles romance that wasn't. Post-friendship with Luke.  
  
This was the first time she'd really been out of the house in two weeks. She'd been spending all her time with Sookie and Logan (the baby's name after Sookie met the nice, handsome doctor that ended up delivering him when the midwife situation just didn't work out) at her house, waiting for The Dragonfly to get going. Rory would come home on weekends and try to cheer her up too. But no one really understood what happened. Why they had to cheer her up. She wasn't divulging much. Oh, she was still Lorelai- nuts, watching movies with anyone who would sit with her, and laughing and going off about things like the sexual preferences of the lead characters in Dr. Strangelove, and her theories about Sofia in relation to The Godfather trilogy. But she wasn't the same, and anyone who knew her could see that.  
  
All anyone knew was that Lorelai had a seemingly normal Sunday night---date with Jason, followed by a return-trip to Stars Hollow.. but it obviously wasn't normal. She hadn't seen or talked to Jason since, and she wasn't leaving the house. She was also----Rory mentally noted, starting to panic for her mother's condition-----scouring papers for any mention of coffee houses in the local vicinity that were known for good coffee. At dinner one night, at Lorelai's, Sookie made a joke about tattling to Luke that Lorelai was thinking about fancying someone else's cup of coffee, but Lorelai made it extremely clear that it wouldn't be wise.  
  
"You mention me, or my quest for a decent cup of my lifeline to that man in flannel down the street, I will force you to sit through six sittings of The Postman. Kevin Costner's The Postman. Six times. That's six, Sookie, as in over twelve hours of Kevin delivering mail, being pensive and manly with his mailing task---"  
  
"Okay, okay, I won't say anything to Luke."  
  
Lorelai smiled at her best friend at that moment, and looked back down at her plate, and Sookie took the moment to share a very concerned look with Rory.  
  
But a few days ago, she actually was able to get some of her pent up feelings off her chest. She was sitting in her living room with Sookie, while they simultaneously painted each other's toenails. She was feeling pretty good that day, and shared with her friend a piece of her heartbreak from that fateful Sunday.  
  
"Well Jason wasn't working for Richard Gilmore, oh no, he was working for HIS father. He was using his position with my dad to get information to his old man, so to beat him out. He was dating ME, as a sort of insurance policy, I think. So people wouldn't think he wasn't serious about business with my father. Because why would anyone betray the father of the love of their life?"  
  
"You two were loves of each other's lives?" Sookie asked, doubtfully.  
  
"Just making a point here, Sookie, work with me. Anyway, he was putting on an act the whole time. I wouldn't be surprised if he never actually shared my passion for muting those old black and white Samurai pirate films and making up my own dialogue."  
  
"Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised either."  
  
"I showed up early for dinner, a maid let me in and I walked into the office, and he didn't see me. He was on the phone with his dad and I heard more than necessary if you know what I mean."  
  
Lorelai got a distant look in her eyes, like she was back in the night for a moment. She shuddered and shook herself from the thoughts.  
  
"Scum," Sookie said.  
  
"Definitely scum," Lorelai agreed, bobbing her head once for emphasis.  
  
"Definitely an 'I Love Lucy' moment," Sookie said.  
  
"Definitely," Lorelai agreed again, and picked up the remote, turning on a tape that was in the VCR. "I mean if ever anything was to restore one's hope that love is easy and beautiful and doesn't completely and truly suck and suck all the life out of you it is this show. This show here. But it's odd, because in real life, Lucy and Desi? Major love sucks moments."  
  
"Definitely," Sookie agreed.  
  
They kept painting each other's toenails, enjoying the sitcom together. Lorelai laughed at the show, and laughed with her friend, but she just felt... Unlike herself completely. Nothing was real. She felt like her life had crumpled. The most important things were there, sure, Rory and Sookie, and they always made her happy. She knew her life would go on, and she'd be okay, because they were in it. But still, she'd lost another friend, who was like a best friend, the same night she'd lost a boyfriend. But she knew, deep down, which loss hurt more. It hurt so much it physically seemed to weaken her.  
  
But now, this was over two weeks later, and Lorelai felt strong. She felt like she could do just about anything. And she was dying for a good cup of coffee. She had been standing at the door to "Java" now for almost a minute, not sure why she was fearing this so much.  
  
"Walk in, sit down, drink," she told herself. "Come on, you look damn good today too!" she added as an afterthought, thinking it might help. And it was true. As her first official day out of her house, she made sure to do this right. Start this new part of her life right. She put on a cute black skirt that went down to her knees, with black go-go boots, and a blue turtleneck sweater. She put on natural-colored make up, and wore her hair natural and wavy. With renewed confidence, she finally marched over the counter, smiling in self-assurance, and tapping her fingernails on the counter top due to nerves.  
  
The man behind the counter was talking to a co-worker when he noticed this loud presence before him. He stopped mid-sentence and turned to her, a half-smile on his face. "Wow, you look ready to go."  
  
"Oh, I am. Ready to go. And go far. Like strap me to a rocket ship and send me to Venus, far. Really far. I am definitely ready to go and I'm talking a lot aren't I? Okay, then I'll just have one cup of coffee to go," she said, smiling.  
  
"I'm not sure you should have coffee," he said, as he grabbed a cup.  
  
"You're not gonna tell me it's bad for me and will kill me, are you?" she asked, still smiling, but starting to feel a little sad, as her mind found itself thinking about someone she tried very hard to never think about.  
  
"Nah, I drink it myself. I just meant you look pretty caffeinated already."  
  
"Are you serious!?" she exclaimed, suddenly feeling happy again.  
  
"Well, yeah, you're jumping around like a bean. A coffee bean."  
  
"No, no, not about that. You drink coffee?" Lorelai asked.  
  
He poured her cup of coffee and smiled. "Uh, yeah. Sort of comes with the territory I guess."  
  
"You really do," she said, more to herself.  
  
"No one's ever really questioned me on this before," he said, looking intrigued by her honest shock. He grabbed another cup and poured coffee into it. "Here," he said, handing her her cup. "Cheers," he said, and touched the tip of his coffee cup to hers. Proving that he was a man of his word, he drank a sip at the same time as her, while she watched him like this was the most fascinating thing ever.  
  
Remembering herself, she reached for her wallet.  
  
"This one's on the house," he said.  
  
"But---"  
  
"I can tell you've never been in here before. Sort of a new customer initiation. We do it with all the newcomers. Really. Put that away," he said, and she obliged.  
  
She was smiling and then all of a sudden stopped. "You know, my last friendship with my Coffee Guy didn't work out."  
  
He looked at her like she really WAS strapped to a rocket headed for Venus at that moment.  
  
"Just letting you know," she said.  
  
"Okay, well, thanks. Good to know. I'll keep that in mind. My, uh, my last friendship with a Coffee Bean didn't really work out either."  
  
"Really?" she asked.  
  
"No, I'm just trying to keep up with you."  
  
She smiled and shook her head and took another sip. "This is good," she said. He smiled again and tried to stifle a small laugh.  
  
Meanwhile in Stars Hollow... At Luke's...  
  
Luke was wiping down the counter in auto-pilot, when he heard the bell over the door jingle. Instinctively his head flew up, hopeful. This had been his reaction to the bell for the past two weeks. He always looked up, saw who came in, felt that familiar feeling in his chest that at first he called indigestion, but now realized was an emotional feeling. He felt as if someone was stretching the muscles in his chest sideways, and then he went back to work, and waited for the feeling to subside.  
  
He couldn't understand it. She seemed okay when he told her. He said that Nicole had jealousy issues. That they wanted a family. That all she wanted was for Lorelai to hang out less. He made it clear that she should still come by everyday. That he would love for her to come by every day. Every day. And he hadn't seen her once since then. "But she smiled, said she understood, and agreed," his mind told him. He thought he didn't understand. But he did. He hurt her. And she wasn't coming back.  
  
Jingle went the bell again, and he looked up to see Nicole come bounding happily in. That happiness at seeing her at the end of a long work-day just wasn't there lately. He told himself it was because he was tired. And a little sad. But that he would get over it.  
  
"Hey sweetie," she said, kissing his cheek.  
  
"Hey," he said, in what he thought sounded friendly and casual. "Oh, hold on a second, I just have to get something from the back."  
  
He quickly made an exit into the kitchen. He saw a crate toppled over, lying upside down, and went and sat on it and thought about what he always thought about. The days that had passed since "that day", which is what he'd come to refer to it as, in his mind.  
  
Rory would come in every time she was home from school and tell him about everything Yale-related and have a cup of coffee. One cup. And she wouldn't take one to go. He'd offer and she would say she was fine.  
  
Sookie, Jackson and Logan sometimes came in. They'd eat or just come in for dessert, and talk to Luke, but they never mentioned her. No one mentioned her. And neither did he. It was like she had died. Nicole had said that this agreement wouldn't be taking Lorelai out of his life completely. He couldn't imagine her being out of his life completely. And Nicole knew that. That's why she said that. Yet that was the case. She was not in his life at all. Life was just going on without her. It was his life sans Lorelai, and he was having trouble eating and sleeping and getting that feeling out of his chest that seemed always to be there. The bell at the diner used to just annoy him, if anything, if he even noticed it. Now it meant pain. The sound of the bell went hand-in-hand with the pain that followed.  
  
Sitting on that crate, he thought about yesterday. Sookie and the baby came in. Sookie wanted some tea, which she had become quite fond of since childbirth. It helped relax her.  
  
"What are you reading?" Luke asked, looking at Sookie's book, which read Preparing for the SATs.  
  
"Just working on comprehension of big words and whatnot. You can never start too early."  
  
"He hasn't even said 'mama' yet. But no, this is good, I'm sure when he does start talking, 'mama' and 'zoology' will be said in the same breath," he said, glancing at some of the words on the page she was turned to.  
  
"This isn't just for him. I don't wanna be the type of mother who can't answer all those questions that kids ask. Like if he asks where rain comes from, I wanna be able to say.." she stopped, and her facial expression turned to one of sheer panic.  
  
"You're not sure where it comes from, are you?" Luke asked.  
  
"I should be focusing on the simpler things!" she exclaimed, shutting the SAT book. "If I can't explain the simple things, he'll NEVER come to me for things like the Theory of Relativity!"  
  
"Ah, yes, the age we all get to when we sit our parents down, begging to know more about the Theory of Relativity," Luke said, smiling a little now.  
  
He wasn't sure why, but he embraced all his moments lately with anyone who had anything to do with Lorelai. He felt like he was communicating somehow with her, by communicating with them.  
  
Sookie's cell phone rang, and she looked at Luke, who indicated that it was okay. He wasn't letting anyone use their phones in his diner except Sookie and Rory these days. And he knew why. He hoped that maybe she was the voice on the other end. The voice, which, if he really tried, he might hear. But it never was her. Until yesterday. But all he could hear was Sookie's end.  
  
"Hey, sweetie... no... I don't think so.. yeah, that's a good idea. You should do it!... you have to leave your house..."  
  
Although Luke wasn't facing Sookie, he knew she looked up at him to see if he might be listening. He made himself, with his back to her, appear to be so wrapped up in something he wasn't listening at all. He squatted down, to look at the mechanical parts of the coffee maker more closely, all the while listening intently. Even though Sookie probably didn't know that. She lowered her voice a little.  
  
"You haven't left in like ten days, you need to get back out there, among the people... I think it sounds good. Sounds like a plan.. Yes....well, sweetie, the man's a complete, heartless scum, using you like your some kind of cheap Barbie doll or prostitute or BOTH and, and then breaking up wi.."  
  
Sookie suddenly realized that maybe she shouldn't be having this particular conversation in the diner.  
  
"Well you get the picture. We'll be right over," Sookie said and hung up. Luke didn't look back at her. She eventually said her goodbyes and left.  
  
She hadn't said it was Lorelai, but he instantly knew who was on the other end of that call. He'd thought that when a call would come from her, he'd feel good again, like she was there, in a way. But the information he'd gathered from the conversation only served to worsen that feeling in his chest, not make it better. At all.  
  
He finally got up and walked back out to the main room of the diner. Nicole walked up to him, looking confused.  
  
"Well, where is it?" she asked.  
  
"Where' what?"  
  
"What you had to get in the back room?" she clarified, indicating to his empty hands.  
  
He thought for a moment. "I guess I forgot it in there," he said, and walked back behind the counter.  
  
And in another small town close by-----  
  
It was two hours after Lorelai had left "Java" and she was returning, running up to the counter, happily.  
  
"You! What is your name!?"  
  
The same guy from before, had smiled when he saw her come in. "Apparently it's Coffee Boy, why?"  
  
"No, I need your real name. I'm having one of those moments, the kind where when you tell someone you should address them, and not by a nickname, but by their real name, unless their name is something horrible like Hezekiah, but then he just calls himself Jack, then you say Jack, so blah blah blah.. And I truly feel that when telling this news to the person who provided me with the fuel that gave me the energy to go and get this wonderful piece of news, I should have a name."  
  
"What's the news?"  
  
"When I was walking down that street, you know the one over there, and then over there?" she asked, pointing for emphasis out the window.  
  
"Milton Street?"  
  
"Sure, okay. So I was walking down Milton Street, and saw this man painting a fence and I started to remember how much I used to like painting when I was younger. And once, when I was like nine, I painted a fence with my uncle. I really loved doing it. And well, I'm gonna be an odd painter!"  
  
"A what?" he asked, laughing.  
  
"Well I mean, I'm gonna get odd jobs painting-related, of course, in this town. Mr. Jamison is going to employ me on this venture. It'll be a great outlet for me and help me pay a few bills for now!"  
  
She could barely control her excitement. Her first day on her own was going good. It was actually going good. She felt good. Mostly good, anyway. For now. And that, in itself, was a good sign.  
  
He started pouring her, and himself, a cup of coffee. "An odd painter, huh?"  
  
"Yes!" she said.  
  
"Cheers," he said, touching the tips of their cups together again, sharing the drink with her, again. "And congratulations."  
  
"Now I'm really ready to go," she said, smiling at him.  
  
"I can see that. Well, one thing's for certain, you'll definitely be odd," he joked and she squinted her eyes at him.  
  
He held out his hand. "Tom," he said.  
  
She shook his offered hand. "Lorelai," she simply said back. 


	3. I still nightmare about you

Thanks for all the encouragement with this! Disclaimers all apply!!  
  
*****************  
  
"Lorelai, we need to talk..." Luke's voice boomed sadly. Forebodingly.  
  
His mouth moved after that, but all she heard was a frightening silence and the sound of her heart beat reverberating in her ears loudly.  
  
"Lorelai, I'm so sorry, I know this sounds bad... I still want you to come by... Everday. I would really love it if you came by everyday.... please say something. For once, I'm begging you, talk..."  
  
"No, Luke, I understand. Nicole doesn't want me around. And you want to start a family with her. I.. I completely understand. It's.. it's fine. I, um, I just remembered, Sookie wanted to see me before she went to bed. Business."  
  
"No, Lorelai, please---"  
  
"Luke, I'm okay. Really," she lied, smiling sweetly.  
  
"You didn't even finish your coff----"  
  
"That stuff's no good for you," Lorelai said cutely, attempting humor. From the door, she looked back over her shoulder at Luke, behind the counter, looking desperate.  
  
"Lorelai--"  
  
"Luke, relax. I'm FINE. This, this is fine. It's okay."  
  
He stared intensely at her. Her blue eyes bore into his gaze.  
  
"Bye Luke," she said, before she busted out the door, only hearing the sound of the bell and a whispered "Bye, Lorelai" in the background.  
  
*******************  
  
Lorelai shot up in bed, her breathing labored. She looked around, quickly realized where she was, and that she was just dreaming, and collapsed back onto her pillow, with a big sigh of relief.  
  
As her eyes adjusted to the blackness, she stared at the ceiling. She was confused now. She hadn't had that dream---- or nightmare, she thought, more truthfully---- in ALMOST a full week. She'd thought maybe the scene was done replaying itself in her subconscious, costing her sleep time. The first time she'd had the dream was the night after 'that night', which is how she thought of the night that she was dumped by Jason Stiles AND Luke Danes. That first time she'd had the dream, she'd woken up sweating and crying. Now, at least, she was only waking up scared, and she was able to relax right away. But still, she had thought maybe she was starting to get over it, as she hadn't had the dream in quite a while.  
  
Yet here she was. His voice taunted her dreams and continued to break her heart. She didn't think her heart could continue to feel that shattering feeling anymore--- that there was anything left to shatter. She thought maybe she'd set herself up for this because she had been spending the last few days trying to pick up its pieces and put her life back together. Figures the second her heart started healing, it would shatter in the night. Again. She looked at the clock. 4:01 am. She closed her eyes and tried--- in vain---- to clear her head and fall back asleep.  
  
And in Luke's apartment---  
  
Luke lay with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He didn't think he'd even blinked in about ten minutes. He just stared. Up. He wasn't even thinking anymore. For the first few days, where he'd started to experience this awful insomnia, he'd thought plenty. His thoughts were frantic, mad, frenzied, nervous, and most of all sad. He'd replayed the conversation from that night in his mind a million times. The look in her eyes. Her smile when she said it was fine. Her final goodbye. That look. Those eyes. He'd gone crazy thinking about the scene over and over.  
  
Then in following nights, he found himself remembering random things from over the years that he hadn't thought of. He thought about when Lorelai would drag a 9-year-old Rory to the diner, call him Duke, and demand coffee- --- an unhealthy over-abundance of coffee. He thought about the time they rode on the sleigh together during her medieval winter dinner. The way they just sat comfortably and talked about life. He thought about the times she bounded confidently into the diner, calling his name excitedly, begging for coffee, and the times she sat with her daughter, the two of them chatting about anything and EVERYTHING. He thought about sitting and talking with her at the dance marathon while he fixed her broken heel, and about all the times they laughed together at the antics of the town and just about everything. He also found another conversation replaying in his head repeatedly. When he was angry with Lorelai for going on a date with a younger guy, and she came back to the diner after Rory's Shakespeare pageant.  
  
*************************  
  
"I don't have a lot of people in my life that are IN my life. Who'll always be there for me and I'll always be there for them. There's Rory. And Sookie. This town. You. I mean, at least I think I have----"  
  
"You do," he'd assured her. And then she'd smiled, relieved.  
  
*************************  
  
He told her on that day that she had him. That he'd always be there for her. She was telling him that no matter what, she wanted him in her life because he was IMPORTANT to her. And he'd let her down. He felt now that he'd broken a promise to her. And broken her heart too. She'd said that she didn't have a lot of people in her life, but the ones she did have she would do anything for. And he was one of them. He'd had the privilege of having a friend who cared that much. He really did believe she'd do anything for these people in her life. And he'd repaid her by throwing that friendship in her face---- giving it back to her like he didn't want it. He'd.... removed himself. Thrown it all away.  
  
Now, on this night, he just stared at the ceiling, not sleeping, but not thinking. His mind had exhausted itself from all the thinking it had been doing for two weeks. He turned his head to look at the sleeping form next to him. Nicole. She was sleeping soundly every night, he thought resentfully. And then he was angry at her. He didn't know why. She had let HIM make the decision. He did this. It wasn't like she went behind his back. He really felt he had no business to be ANGRY at her. But there it was. He couldn't bear to look at her peacefully sleeping form. He got up from the bed, quietly, and walked to the window. His eye caught a figure, dressed in black, walking in the street.  
  
His heart nearly stopped when he realized who it was. Lorelai. She was there. It was the first time he'd seen her since that night. His heart was caught in his throat. She had her arms wrapped around herself, and she was walking with her head down. He positioned himself so that he could watch, but she wouldn't see him if she looked up. She looked like she was about to walk by, but stopped suddenly and lifted her head. She turned and looked at the entrance to the diner, longingly, it seemed. She just stared. She put her head down again, but then looked back up. She just stared at the diner. He saw her walk toward the diner, and he realized that he was feeling anxious, like he had butterflies in his stomach. He didn't hear a knock; he didn't hear anything. But he couldn't see her anymore. Then he realized, she must be looking at the diner through the window. After a few moments, his stomach tensed again when he saw her retreating form. She made it to the sidewalk, looked back at the diner, and sat down. He could barely see her face, but he could tell she was cold. And she looked sad. He took a deep breath, braced himself, and decided to walk downstairs and talk to her. He just had to talk to her, he felt.  
  
He put on a coat, shoes and hurried down the stairs. He headed toward the door and was just about to unlock it when he noticed that she was gone. She wasn't sitting there anymore. His shoulders fell and he turned to head back up the stairs. Back to Nicole.  
  
The next day, Lorelai sat with Sookie, Rory and Logan and they ate dinner. Sookie was trying out new dishes for the menu for the Dragonfly.  
  
"Too salty," Lorelai stated, trying not to make a face that revealed HOW salty she thought it was.  
  
"Definitely too salty," Rory agreed, sharing that look of trying-to-hide- how-bad-it-really-was with her mother.  
  
"Really? I thought this one came out just right," Sookie said, genuinely surprised.  
  
"You know, Sookie, most women go through the weird taste thing DURING pregnancy, but you didn't really. I mean, sure there were times where your food just plain tasted horrible, and even the customers complained," Lorelai started, while Sookie looked now, genuinely insulted. "But all in all, you were okay during pregnancy. But ever since Logan was born, your taste has been a little... on the skits," Lorelai finished.  
  
"All out-a wack," Rory added, in support of her mother.  
  
"Tough crowd," Sookie said, still looking shocked.  
  
"Oh, honey, you know we love your cooking. You have great culinary instincts. We just can't wait for them to return," Lorelai explained.  
  
"Any day now," Rory said, with a hopeful air.  
  
"Okay, okay, I call for a subject change," Sookie said desperately.  
  
"I have something I've been meaning to ask you, mom."  
  
"What?" Lorelai asked, fearfully. It seemed lately, everyone was asking her so many questions about her mood these past few weeks.  
  
"What is the meaning of this!?" Rory asked, holding up a piece of paper from Java.  
  
"Oh, that's a punch card. See, every time I get a coffee, they punch a hole in it, and eventually I get a free----"  
  
"Mom, I, for one, demand to know what happened with you and Luke. I mean I know patience is a virtue, and I feel that I've been more than patient waiting for you to come clean, but I'm not sure you're gonna share this. EVER!"  
  
"I'm with Rory. I wanna know what happened. You're acting weird. He's acting weird. I feel like if I were to ever accidentally say your name at the diner, I might either be asked to leave or interrogated under a big light."  
  
Lorelai looked at the two of them. She didn't want to talk about this. She really didn't. But she also knew she eventually had to.  
  
"I.. nothing happened. Nothing really."  
  
Sookie jumped. "Did you guys..." she tilted her head, to emphasize her insinuation.  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"No! No, nothing happened like that... if I tell you what happened, will you just leave it alone after that?"  
  
"Yes!" Rory and Sookie chimed in together, too eagerly, as they were now dying to know what happened between Luke and Lorelai.  
  
Lorelai sat there, silently, her mind racing. A million things were going through her mind too fast for her to understand any of it. Things from that night, things from their past. Many different thoughts intertwining into a confusing haze in her mind.  
  
Lorelai's face turned a deep shade of red and her eyes glazed over. She was about to cry, and they both knew it. This was big.  
  
"Luke dumped me," she finally said, very softly.  
  
"Luke dumped you?" Rory asked, confused at her specific wording.  
  
"Nicole wanted less of me around. He just told me to come by no more than once a day for her sake, that they were trying to build a family and other stuff."  
  
"Well, that's Nicole, not Luke," Sookie offered.  
  
Lorelai shook her head and held back tears. "You know, a month back, when I was still under the misguided impression that Jason was dating me because he liked me, really liked me, he once commented that I spent a lot of time at the diner, talking with 'that guy', and you know what I said? 'Deal with it.' That's what I said. I mean, he wasn't about to ask me to eliminate Luke from my life, but I made it clear that Luke was my friend, and just not to go there. Luke was there before Jason. Before Max. Before Alex. Before Christopher tried to re-enter the picture. Just before. And anyone who knew me knew who the important people in my life were, and Luke was counted among those people, those people that couldn't be touched. That if they had a problem with, they would just have to deal with."  
  
"Honey, why didn't you tell us this?" Sookie asked gently, placing a hand on Lorelai's shoulder.  
  
"It's embarrassing."  
  
"Mom, how is it embarrassing for you what LUKE did? If anyone should be embarrassed, it's him."  
  
Lorelai nodded at Rory. She knew she was right. Yet she still felt embarrassed.  
  
"You feel pretty humiliated already when you discover that someone you've been dating has just been using you. Something like that can damage your feelings of self-worth if not completely diminish them. That's when you turn to your friends for that. To make you feel like a good person again, someone worthy of love, and tell you that HE's the one missing out. But..... when your friend dumps you before you get to that point, pretty much you feel like a big loser, self-worth has flown the coup, and your just there, feeling pretty embarassed."  
  
Lorelai's face flickered over with---- what appeared to be sadness and a little regret, it seemed, Rory noted. One tear escaped her eye.  
  
"I mean, what kind of person are you if you can't even hold on to your BEST friends? How much does that say about me? That's why I'm embarassed. It doesn't speak very well for me."  
  
"That's funny," Sookie said.  
  
"What?" Lorelai asked, confused at what could possibly be funny about this.  
  
"Well, I was just thinking that it doesn't speak very well for Luke that he let your friendship get away. As a friend of yours myself, I know that it doesn't speak well for him at all. And I also know he must be going out of his mind."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I know if one day you just weren't in my life anymore, I'd go crazy missing you. And something's just missing about him lately. I just know he's feeling it."  
  
Lorelai nodded blankly, like she was just thinking about it but wasn't sure she agreed.  
  
"Just listen, if he wants less of me, I want to be a good friend and do this right, which means that I just don't want you guys mentioning me at all around him. Just talk to him about yourselves and about him and whatever, but don't talk about me. That's like bringing me to the diner in a way. Just please, don't do anything me-related around him, okay?"  
  
"Mom, it's pretty drastic to just extricate yourself from his life completely. I mean, he said he wanted LESS of you. I don't think he ever thought you'd just drop out of his life completely. He didn't want NONE of you. I don't think Luke can handle that. I've seen him lately. He looks different. It scares me. He's not Luke, these days. And when I'm there and neither of us talks about you---- which is what we're both thinking about----it's like this thing hanging in the air. And you said he still wanted you to come by every day. Have you even seen him since?"  
  
"No. Look, I can't explain this. I know I seem to be flying off the handle in the drama department, but I can't help it. You're not in my head and you're not.. in my heart. You weren't there the night that I realized that Jason was only USING me and one of my best friends not only wasn't there for me, but told me I was around too much and should keep my visits to a minimum. Once a day, clock in, stay no more than twenty minutes---"  
  
"---a clock was involved?" Sookie asked, doubtfully.  
  
"I'm just making a point." She paused and took a long, shaky breath. "It hurt. I mean, I never expected Luke to put me ahead of Nicole in his list of priorities or anything, but..."  
  
"I know," Sookie said, soothingly.  
  
"---but it really hurt that our friendship meant so little to him," Lorelai finished, not looking at either of them.  
  
"Mom, the friendship means more to him than you're thinking. I mean, you haven't seem him lately. You haven't seen his face. You haven't walked into the diner and seen him look over your shoulder quickly, clearly looking for... looking for something he lost."  
  
"She's right," Sookie agreed. "One look at his face these days, I mean, it's daunting."  
  
"Good word, Sookie!" Rory said excitedly. "That definitely does it justice. It's completely daunting."  
  
Lorelai lifted her head and finally looked at them.  
  
"Kind of like your face right now," Rory added.  
  
"Definitely like your face," Sookie agreed.  
  
Lorelai sighed, and started to crumble, and Sookie and Rory both stood up and went to her. They both held Lorelai, wanting to make her not feel this way anymore, but also realizing that her hurt was going deeper than any of them, including Lorelai even, could understand or would have ever thought possible. Lorelai quietly cried a little on her friend's and daughter's shoulders, really missing Luke right now.  
  
And the next day---- on a rooftop----- in that OTHER little town----  
  
Lorelai sat, with a paintbrush in her hand, taking a break to sip some water.  
  
"Of all the tasks I should be given on my first day as an odd painter, I WOULD be given the job of painting someone's ROOF." She glanced down the two stories to the ground. "The most dangerous way to start this ever-so- clever-idea I had of a fantastic new profession. Lorelai, what did you do on your first day of work? Oh, well, I broke my arms. Very clever."  
  
She sighed and put the water down, resolving to resume her task. She grabbed the paintbrush and turned so she was on her hands and knees. She painted, being careful not to make any rash moves. "Who paints their ROOF!" she asked, annoyed.  
  
"What's that?" the voice of the little senile old man who lived in the house asked, from below.  
  
"Oh, hi Mr. Takki, I was just saying that everyone should paint their roof," she said, mocking cheer.  
  
"Oh. Well, okay," he said, slowly walking back into the house.  
  
She shook her head and kept painting. After a few minutes, she was in a rhythm and was moving faster. She positioned herself lower on the roof, so she could get a spot she'd missed, and in doing so, kicked the ladder down. "So much for my professionalism," she mumbled to herself. She started to turn herself so she could call for Mr. Takki to come back and grab the ladder for her. She realized her foot was caught on something and yanked it. Unfortunately, by yanking her foot free, she lost her balance, and stumbled off the roof, screaming, and hearing the gasp of another person too. She realized when she should have hit the hard ground, she instead just landed on someone. She lifted her head and looked at who she'd fallen on.  
  
"Lorelai!"  
  
"Luke." 


	4. it's raining Lorelai

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement!!!! Sorry it took awhile to get this out-  
  
Once Lorelai had gotten over the shock of having fallen off the roof, and then the shock that followed when she realized she had landed on LUKE, she sat up, regained her composure, and found something to say to him.  
  
"Luke, what are you doing here?"  
  
"What am I-- what are YOU doing falling off rooftops!?"  
  
"Well, since you asked, this is my new job."  
  
He got to his feet, and helped her stand, as well.  
  
"Are you a stunt double? Am I on the set of some action movie? I mean, I still--"  
  
He broke off midsentence and looked at the paint that was now smeared all over her shirt and pants, and also on him, in places.  
  
"Who gave YOU a job as a painter? Lorelai, you can't even paint your nails on your own. You have Rory do it. Why are you on rooftops, painting?"  
  
"Well Luke, I have my Before 50 List--"  
  
"Before 50 list--" he broke in, confused, although indescribably happy to see her, but not allowing that happiness to seep into his expression and let itself be known to her.  
  
"Things to do before I turn 50, and painting a house and bungee jumping are both on the list, and well, you know me, kill two birds with one stone."  
  
"Lorelai."  
  
"What! Fine, if you must know every detail of my life, I've taken up some odd jobs to make some money for the time being."  
  
Luke shook his head, at a loss for words. Lorelai started to take a step, but stopped when pain shot through her ankle. She winced and Luke instinctively grabbed her arm.  
  
"You okay?" he asked.  
  
"I should be, I mean, you took the brunt of my fall," she joked.  
  
He touched his hip, which he knew would probaby bruise later. "That's true."  
  
She noted that he looked to be in a little pain. "Are YOU okay?"  
  
"I'm fine," he said, seriously. He led her slowly to the stairs of Mr. Takki's house and sat her down.  
  
He looked at her for a moment and realized that he had nothing to say. For weeks, a million things entered his mind-- things he wished he could share with her, and things he desperately wanted to tell her, but in this moment, now that he could talk to her, he couldn't think of one thing to say. He just looked at her-- paint smears on her clothes and cheek, and her hair all messy from the fall-- he noticed also she was not wearing any makeup. She looked so different from his remembrance, and yet, in her complete state of disheveled-ness, she never looked more beautiful to him. More Lorelai.  
  
Lorelai stared down at her lap, because she feared she had been staring a little too intensely at Luke just now. She suddenly felt uncomfortable, and yet oddly at ease. She often felt that way around him, she realized. On edge. On guard. Comfortable, yet her stomach was doing jumping jacks. This complete ambivalent feeling was always there with Luke and it drove her nuts.... and yet here she was, feeling that, and feeling totally uncomfortable, and strangely at ease. The familiartity of this feeling was something she'd missed. She missed the comfort of feeling so uncomfortable around him. She knew 'uncomfortable' wasn't the right word to describe the feeling, yet it was all she could think of to do justice to her feelings lately.  
  
Luke finally found something to say to break the unbearable silence.  
  
"You know, if you needed extra money before the inn opens up, you could have asked me. You could have worked at the diner. I imagine you as possibly the worst waitress ever, but still. It's not like I'd ever fire you," he said, and then chided him for saying that. He figured she probably wouldn't hold it past him to fire her, as he did cut their friendship in half for no apparent reason. Well not so much as half, as he really cut it into little shreds and threw it in the garbage.  
  
Lorelai smiled.  
  
"I don't think that when Nicole said she wanted me around once a day, she meant my visit starts at 8 and ends at 6."  
  
"Well a week of fulltime shifts might just about add up to the amount of lost visit time from the past two weeks. Over two weeks," he said.   
  
"Well thanks, but I have quite a gig going on here."  
  
He looked up at the roof she had just fallen from.  
  
"Got that right. What's on the list for tomorrow? Cartwheels off the town hall?"  
  
"Luke don't be ridiculous!.......... You know I can't do cartwheels. Anyway, what are YOU doing here?"  
  
Luke indicated to a bag of food that had fallen out of his hands when she'd fallen on him, that was now lying on the grass. "Delivery."  
  
"You don't DO deliveries."  
  
"This old man that lives here offered me $50 extra to bring the food TO him, and hey, fifty dollars is fifty dollars. I had no idea he might think I'm a burglar, and his idea of home security is, well, you."  
  
"Well that wasn't my fault," she explained defensively. "The stupid ladder fell down merely because I lightly kicked it, I mean isn't it supposed to be able to stand a little force. Isn't it made of steel or something?"  
  
"It's a ladder, not Superman."  
  
She opened her mouth, to say something smart back, but he interupted before she had a chance.  
  
"Lorelai, why don't you come by at all? Ever. I...... I'm really sorry. You have no idea how sorry," he said quietly, as if more to himself. "I hate this. If I'd thought that asking you to come by less equaled you disappearing from my life, I never would have--"  
  
"Luke, it's not that," she said, looking at him for a moment. But when she saw the look that Rory and Sookie had been talking about, that daunting look, she had to turn away again. She looked back at her lap again.   
  
"Lorelai, I know I hurt you," he said, the words practically choking him as he said them. Ever since he'd known her, he'd felt such anger at anyone who ever hurt her. This wonderful woman. And here he was, the worst culprit of all, because he was someone she had trusted and NEVER thought would do that too.  
  
She didn't say anything. She just stared at her lap, her bottom lip pouting out a little. She'd seen that look, and now she knew. He was hurting too. She took a deep breath.  
  
"Luke, I'm sorry too. I know I'm acting like Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, over here, and you're right. You made it clear that I should come by, and my pride, or...... or something, is getting in the way of me doing that. But...... I'll get over it. Don't worry. Soon, I'll be able to do that once-a-day thing. It's just right now, I can't tell what part of the day I want to drop in. I mean, in the morning I need coffee to get through the day, but then I've used my visit so early on, and what if later, I have something, some little story about Rory or something that I want to share with you, while the excitement is still fresh, and then I can't do that later in the day because I already saw you once that day. In the morning. And..... and I don't know, in the morning, I admit, it's more about the coffee. Seeing you is a bonus, but coffee is what I need, but in the afternoon and night, it's the friendship and the coffee is the bonus, you know? So, until I can work out some of the kinks in this--- "  
  
Luke just stared ahead, hating what he'd done. Hating that he had ever even asked her to do this. Hating that he knew, he could SEE, that she was hurting, yet she was trying to act like she wasn't so he wouldn't feel guiltly. He wouldn't let himself off the hook. He couldn't. He shook his head.  
  
"This whole thing is so--- just forget about it. Come by whenever you want to. Please," he asked her desperately.  
  
She finally turned and looked at him again, resolving to not look away until she had said what she needed to.  
  
"Luke, do you want a family?"  
  
"Yes," he said quietly.   
  
"And for this to happen, Nicole wants me around less? Once-a-day?"  
  
Luke shook his head, but didn't break the gaze. "Yes," he said, angrily.  
  
"Luke, no one deserves to be happy more than you. You deserve to have someone. And start a family. Have kids. Be happy. The whole sha-bang. Everyone else has had their chance at that life. Now it's your turn. I would be the most awful friend if I stood in the way of that."  
  
"And I AM the most awful friend for even asking you to--"  
  
"No, Luke!"  
  
She stopped, took a breath and looked at him again.  
  
"You want a family, and this is how it has to be for that to happen. I'll be fine. Don't...... just don't worry about me. For once, Luke, worry about YOU. You deserve to be able to do that and be happy. Put yourself first for once. Think about what YOU want. What makes you happy. Everything else will fall into place."  
  
She stopped talking and looked distant. She knew that it did hurt that his ultimate happiness was something she would have nothing to do with. She had never thought that would be the case. She always thought she'd get to be there for him, in some way, and be witness to everything in his life that made him happy. A hard sadness punched her, just then, in her gut it felt like, and she choked back some tears. But her look, and what she must be feeling did not go unnoticed by Luke.  
  
"Lorelai--" he started.  
  
"Mr. Danes, is that you!?" the confused voice of Mr. Takki broke into his sentence. Luke jumped up, off the porch steps, grabbing the food off the grass, before Mr. Takki made it out to the porch.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Takki. Here you are," he said, handing the man his food.  
  
"Oh hi, Miss Gilmore," Mr. Takki said, confusedly. "I, um, I am not sure why you're down here. I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted food, I didn't order you any--"  
  
"No, no," Lorelai started. "I was just taking a little break."  
  
"Oh, okay. Well here, Mr. Danes," Mr. Takki said, reaching into his pocket, to pay Luke.  
  
"No, it's okay, keep the money, Mr. Takki," Luke said. What he received for delivering food to Mr. Takki, he realized, was much more than fifty dollars, and now the money was not looking attractive to him at all.  
  
Mr. Takki shrugged his shoulders and headed back inside. When he was out of earshot, Lorelai stood up and wobbled to Luke.  
  
"Luke, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!"  
  
"I don't want it. I'm just glad I could prevent you from breaking your neck. That's....... priceless."  
  
"Ah, yes, my priceless neck. They say that's what I'm gonna go down in the books as: the Girl with a Neck Worth Saving."  
  
"They, who?"  
  
"Oh, you know, 'they'......" she trailed off, thinking.  
  
He crossed his arms, amused now. "I'm not sure I know who 'they' are."  
  
"Just 'they', that collective group of people who are always saying things," she explained.  
  
"Saying things like......" he encouraged.  
  
"Like 'you catch more flies with honey' and 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away',"  
  
"I thought doctors actually SAID that," Luke started, to which Lorelai just looked confused.  
  
"What doctors do YOU know that tell you that you catch more flies with---"  
  
"No!" Luke started, feigning frustration, although inside he was overwhelmed with excitement at the familiar feeling that bantering with Lorelai gave him. "Not..... nevermind. But you're claiming that these people, 'they', have said that you have a neck worth saving?"  
  
"Yup. One in the same," she said, as if she believed it.  
  
"Well I lost you somewhere back there, I'm not even sure what we're talking about anymore," Luke said, truthfully.  
  
"Well I think you were leaving, and I was about to go pick up that ladder and get back to work."  
  
"I don't think so," Luke said, looking at her right ankle, which she wasn't putting any pressure on. "You can't even stand on that, and if you end up back there," he said, looking at the roof, "you'll fall off again, and neither I nor THEY will be there to save your neck!"  
  
Lorelai just pouted, looking at him. She opened her mouth to argue, but before she could say anything, Luke had disappeared into Mr. Takki's house. He momentarily returned.  
  
"Okay, where's your car? You're getting the day off. You're sick."  
  
"Luke, I need that money!"  
  
"He's still paying you. As long as the roof gets finished."  
  
"And how am I supposed to finish the roof from one town over?" she challenged.  
  
"Figure that out tomorrow," he said. And before she could argue, "Lorelai, you need to ice your ankle, you can barely stand on it. You know you can't get back up there today. Where's you car?" he asked again.  
  
"It's at Java," she finally said, defeated.  
  
"That little coffee shop down the street?" he asked, to which she nodded her head. She could have sworn that a look of sheer jealously flashed over his expression quickly, at the idea that she was drinking coffee elsewhere. Then the look transformed to realization, as his question about her coffee provision of late was answered. "They let you park your car there all day?"  
  
"Oh yeah, it was their idea. They don't care. Well, as long as we're heading there, I might as well get a cup of coffee," she said, more to herself.  
  
He helped her into his truck and shut the passenger door. While he was heading to the driver's side, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in all the familiar smells of his truck. The smells made her want to cry-- they reminded her of so many things Luke. That smell of warmth, brought over from the diner, no doubt, mixed with work, sweat, the smell of Luke himself, and his flannel shirts-- that laundry smell-- just Luke. As he opened the driver's side door to get in, a gust of wind bustled into the truck, and made a streak on Lorelai's cheek suddenly feel freezing cold. It was only then that she realized she really was starting to cry.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" Luke asked, noticing this as well.  
  
"My eyes run when I'm cold," she quickly explained, swiping at her eyes, and trying not to think about the smells that were overwhelming her senses. She looked out her window and didn't say anything for the remainder of the ride.  
  
Luke felt a familiar tightening in his chest--- that he had often felt in these past two weeks, when he thought about how he had hurt his best friend so badly--- and he just stared blankly ahead, not knowing what to say.  
  
He dropped her off at Java, and watched her limp inside, order a coffee, toast the guy working there, and drink her cup. He pulled his truck out and left before she noticed that he was still there. He didn't want her to think he was stalking her or something.  
  
On the drive home, he smiled to himself, glad to have seen her. Seen that she looks okay. It assured him that she WAS finding somewhere to eat, and he was glad she was in good supply of coffee, although the thought of her sharing that cup of coffee with that other guy behind the counter did cause his smile to momentarily fade, and a strange feeling to enter his gut. But as soon as the feeling entered, he dismissed it and remembered that today was the first day where he forgot about his inner torments for awhile, and was actually happy. He had actually smiled and meant it today. When she was going off Lorelai-style, in front of him. It made him smile now, just thinking about it.  
  
He hoped that she would listen to what he had said before they parted. He had asked to her stop by tonight. He had a desperate look in his eyes when he asked--- he knew he did. She had said she might, and she actually looked like she meant it.  
  
He couldn't figure out why her eyes were tearing when he got into the truck, but he found himself now thinking about that. His instincts told him it had little to do with the weather, though. He frowned at the thought that he made her cry. And probably not for the first time. He suspected, just from talking to her today, and that night, that she cried before, because of him. He shook his head, like he was trying to shake away those thoughts, and just concentrated on driving back to the diner. The diner that just seemed so unfulfilling lately. So empty. So lonely.  
  
Later that night---  
  
Lorelai stepped up to the entrance of the diner and took a deep breath, before entering. She braced herself, put her head confidently in the air, and opened the door. She looked around. Luke was nowhere in sight. She went over to the counter and sat down, nervously. This common action, that had once been a constant in her life, seemed foreign to her now, and her heart-rate sped up in doing it. She was nervous. She wasn't sure she could even handle coffee right now.  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
Lorelai looked up and saw Nicole approaching the counter, taking a seat next to her.  
  
"Nicole! Hi," she said, now more nervous than ever.  
  
"Hi, Lorelai," Nicole said, and there it was. That smile. That was neither genuine nor happy at Lorelai's presence.  
  
"Wow, Nicole, nice shirt. It really brings out your eyes. I really love it! Where did you buy it?" Lorelai babbled nervously, rolling her eyes at how she knew she sounded.  
  
"I made it," Nicole said, a little icily. "Um, so is this your first time here today?" Nicole asked, trying to sound casual.  
  
At that moment, the entire arrangement, and how painful it was for Lorelai came rushing back to Lorelai, and she stood up.  
  
"Uh, yeah, but actually, I can't stay. I.. I really should be going."  
  
"Oh, okay," Nicole said, trying to seem sorry that Lorelai was leaving.  
  
"Well, you take care, Nicole, I'll, um, see you later," Lorelai said and turned to quickly head out of the diner.  
  
Luke headed out of the backroom and saw the back of Lorelai's wobbling form head out the door, and the bell jingle. He was speechless. "She came," he thought. Once the shock subsided, he ran to the door.  
  
"Lorelai!"  
  
Lorelai stopped and turned to look at him. She had allowed a tear to fall and looked at him nervously, and then over his shoulder at Nicole. Confused, he turned to look at what she was looking at. Nicole. He jumped at her presence and turned, letting go of the door.  
  
As soon as his back was turned, Lorelai took off for home.  
  
Back at the diner---  
  
"What just happened?" Luke asked.  
  
"Nothing. She came, she saw, she conquered," Nicole tried to joke.  
  
Luke didn't crack a smile, he didn't blink, he just demanded an answer without saying a word.  
  
"What? She came in, sat down, we talked and she decided she didn't want to stay."  
  
"What was talked about?" he asked, feigning patience.  
  
"I just asked her how many times she'd been in today, or something like that," Nicole said, obviously seeing this as harmless.  
  
Luke's gaze widened, and he shook his head, disgustedly. Before he could say anything, the bell over the door jingled, which caused Luke to jump, as he was standing right next to the door. He whipped his face around, only to be faced with his nephew.  
  
"Okay, Uncle Luke, I'm here, I have paint brushes.. this better be good," Jess said.  
  
"Jess, it's a pleasure to see you," Nicole said.  
  
Jess rolled his eyes. "I'm sure it is."  
  
Nicole made a face at that, and turned her attention to Luke. "Luke's what's this about? What's he talking about, paint brushes?"  
  
Luke didn't acknowledge her. He walked back to the counter, grabbed his coat, said something to Caesar and joined Jess at the front door.  
  
"Luke," Nicole said, grabbing his arm.  
  
"Don't wait up," he said, coldly, before heading out with Jess for the night. 


	5. No Lorelais Here!

Disclaimers all apply, aka Amy Sherman-Palladino and other people own these characters and places, etc.  
  
Thanks everyone, for all the encouragement and feedback!! Okay, so here goes, hope you all like it-  
  
****************************************************  
  
Lorelai ran excitedly into Java-well ran as best she could with a still- sore ankle. She assumed she'd only twisted it though, because it did feel markedly better today. She had her paint supplies and was wearing a pair of new coveralls she had found in a package sitting in front of her front door when she got home last night, that Rory had sent her, in support of this new venture. She wore makeup today, her hair in loose pigtails, and was feeling better just in general.  
  
Despite what had happened with Nicole, seeing Luke had really made her feel better. The void inside that had only grown in two weeks time felt like it had gone down a little, and the feeling rejuvenated her.  
  
She bounded into Java and looked around for her new favorite coffee man.  
  
"Where's Tom?" she asked another employer, Jeremy.  
  
"Aw, hey, Lorelai. Wow, nice look. You definitely got that painter thing down now."  
  
"Thanks Jeremy," she said, smiling.  
  
"Well not so much a real painter, as one that would appear in most men's fantasies."  
  
"Men fantasize about painters?" Lorelai asked, confused.  
  
"Well when they look like THAT," he laughed. "Seriously, a hot girl doing handiwork... I'm not kidding, men DO fantasize about that. Throw a tool belt around the coveralls and a little sweat in the brow, and you've got it down."  
  
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "That's fascinating... and disturbing. Now, again, where's Tom?"  
  
"Why do you always ask for Tom?"  
  
"He makes the best coffee," she said, her face serious now.  
  
"He POURS the coffee from this pot into a cup. Anyone here can do that."  
  
"You make a fabulous point, but I prefer it when Tom does it. Besides, I need my Tom-toast."  
  
"We don't have toast. We don't even have a toaster," Jeremy said, now confused.  
  
"Tom!?" Lorelai called out, now frustrated with Jeremy.  
  
Tom walked out of the backroom, holding a few pounds of coffee. He looked up and saw Lorelai, and couldn't help a small smile forming on his lips, although he tried to keep it under wraps.  
  
"Hey Lorelai," he said, his dark features becoming more serious.  
  
"Tom, tell her that we don't have toast!" Jeremy pleaded.  
  
"She wants a toast, she'll get one. Get your twenty-year-old post- adolescent butt back in there and stock the coffee."  
  
Jeremy looked at Lorelai, confused about the whole toast-thing, and walked into the back room.  
  
Tom smiled at Lorelai. "Okay, one for you," he said, pouring her cup. "One for me," he said pouring his cup. "And cheers," he finished, touching their cups together and taking a sip.  
  
Lorelai sipped the coffee, and looked at Tom, not being able to really stop smiling, herself.  
  
"So, you and I are about five toasts away from Coffee Drinkers Anonymous right now," she said.  
  
"I am aware of that. What started as a little gesture has become a thrice- daily ritual and I think it's costing us both," he agreed.  
  
She smiled and mused that he really was an attractive man. He was very tall, sort of on the thin side, and a little older than her, she figured. Just a few gray hairs mixed in with his black hair, and his seemingly-black eyes were always smiling at her.  
  
"Well, Lorelai, you no longer fit the description."  
  
"The description."  
  
"Yes, the description," he said conclusively.  
  
"And this would be the damsel in distress description, the strong and proud businesswoman description, or, as Jeremy very disturbingly pointed out, the h--- uh, girl doing handiwork in some men's fantasies description?"  
  
Tom looked in the direction of the back room, only seeing the back of Jeremy's head, and shook his head, annoyed. Then he looked back at Lorelai.  
  
"No, no, the odd painter. You no longer seem... odd."  
  
"Well, that's a good thing... I think," Lorelai said.  
  
"Sure. I don't know, something just seems different about you lately."  
  
Lorelai smiled and shrugged.  
  
"How's the ankle today?"  
  
"Still there, still hurting... or are you talking about the other one?" she asked.  
  
"Oh, obviously I'm talking about the other one."  
  
"Ah, so in that case, still there and still not hurting."  
  
"Always good to hear. I'm hoping the report will be the same tomorrow," he said.  
  
Tom smiled at Lorelai, and then, as if remembering himself, he stopped smiling and started wiping a spot on the counter. Lorelai's smile also faded and she swallowed, taking another sip of her coffee.  
  
She put on another smile again, although this one was clearly more forced. "Okay, well, I have a big day of painting ahead of me, so.."  
  
Tom looked back up at Lorelai. "Yeah, but this time, try not to, you know, fall from high places," he joked.  
  
She squinted at him, feigning anger at his comment, and then let a small smile form.  
  
"No, but seriously, be careful," he said. And she knew he meant it.  
  
"Aw, Tom, you care!" she squealed and took another sip of coffee.  
  
"I am NOT going to Coffee Drinkers Anonymous alone!" he said adamantly.  
  
"Aw, hon, it's a date! You, me and the 12 steps! There WILL be a day where you and I can say 'we've been decaffeinated for two days now'," she said, smiling as she left.  
  
"Yeah, a date," he said to himself, once she had gone. Then he continued cleaning the counter.  
  
And at Luke's---  
  
Luke found himself, not for the first time today, wishing that he WAS a coffee drinker. He and Jess had gotten back so late, he'd just showered and went down to the diner to start the day.  
  
"Hey, Caesar, I'm running over to Doose's," he said, to which Caesar just waved a hand, not looking at him.  
  
Once at the market, he grabbed what he needed and stood in the checkout line. A cell phone rang in front of him, and he rolled his eyes, as a woman answered it.  
  
"No, this is Lorelai. No, no one named Dorothy is at this number. Yes, you did call yesterday. Please stop calling this number!" the woman said, slamming her phone shut with a huff.  
  
"Your name is Lorelai?" Luke asked the woman, before he could stop himself.  
  
She turned around to face him. She looked to be in her mid-sixties or so, and he guessed she was probably once very attractive--- and he noticed she had one of the kindest faces he'd ever seen. She smiled.  
  
"Lorelai, Dorothy.... whatever," she said, still smiling.  
  
"I'm sorry, it's just... 'Lorelai' isn't a very common name. You don't hear it a lot," Luke explained, a little embarrassed.  
  
"Don't I know it," she agreed.  
  
"Well, I mean, I know someone named 'Lorelai.' Well, actually, two people named 'Lorelai' if you count...." he trailed off, as he noticed she was looking at him expectantly, her eyebrows raised. "Sorry," he said, growing even more embarrassed, as he was only too well aware at that moment that he was babbling, which is something he never did. Brevity was his trademark, and he couldn't figure out why he couldn't stop talking now.  
  
"No, no, hon, it's fine, it's just funny. You're talking about the name 'Lorelai' like it's the most uncommon name and then going on to say that I'm the third one you know," she said, her eyes laughing at him. He blushed and looked at the floor. "Well, you know two more than me. I guess I've moved to a 'Lorelai'-driven town. That'll be a nice change of pace. The last place I lived, everyone was 'Sarah'."  
  
Luke laughed. "So, you just moved here?"  
  
"Yes I did. You're my first friend in Stars Hollow. I'm Lorelai Farrow," she said, holding out her hand.  
  
"Luke Danes. I own the diner down the street. Since you're new to the town, first time you come in, you get a meal on the house."  
  
"That'll be $23.50, ma'am," the grocer said to this new Lorelai. She reached into her pocketbook.  
  
"Luke, that is very nice of you. Thank you so much." She paid the grocer and took her bag. "I will definitely take you up on that."  
  
"I'll see you later, then," he said.  
  
With a smile and a wave, Lorelai Farrow was gone.  
  
And in another town---  
  
Lorelai was still smiling as she walked up the street toward Mr. Takki's house, confidently. Things were actually going well. She hadn't smiled in so long, and now she couldn't stop. She and Luke had had a completely enjoyable banter session the day before, and she could see that he was in pain. She didn't want to feel happy that he was hurting, but at the same time, it made her realize that she WAS wrong in thinking the friendship didn't mean anything to him. He seemed very torn up about the whole thing.  
  
Her smile faded a little when she remembered the end of the day. When he called her name, as she was leaving the diner, he looked so intense, like he was overjoyed at seeing her, and didn't want her to leave, but then he saw Nicole and turned his back on Lorelai like he was a schoolboy caught doing something bad by the principle. The whole thing reminded her that Nicole was the woman he wanted to be with, and that fact removed Lorelai from his life. From his happiness. She hated that. But she told herself that she couldn't be selfish with this particular friend. It couldn't be all or nothing with him, because he was too important. If he could not ask her for all, then she wouldn't turn her back and give him nothing. She silently resolved, before falling asleep last night, that she would meet him halfway, and give him what he wanted. Less of her. She knew HE didn't want that, but it was a situation they both found themselves in, and she had hurt at first just thinking about it. But now, she was done hurting, and didn't want him to be hurting, so she would start visiting again. She had to.  
  
As she walked up the stairs to Mr. Takki's house, she laughed out loud, remembering how confused Luke had looked when she fell on him. After she knocked a few times, the old man came to the door.  
  
"Miss Gilmore, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Ah, senility, how nice," Lorelai thought. Out loud, she explained, "I'm here to finish the roof, Mr. Takki."  
  
"You already finished it! I slept at my brother's across the street so you could finish it whenever you wanted to, like Mr. Danes had said!"  
  
Mr. Takki pointed over Lorelai's shoulder and Lorelai turned her confused face toward the other side of the street, where Mr. Takki was pointing. She saw another old man sitting on a lawn chair, waving at them. She waved back, still confused.  
  
"Um.... like Mr. Danes said?" Lorelai asked, very confused now.  
  
"Yeah. Good job, by the way. Here's the check," he said, reaching into his pocket, handing her a personal check.  
  
She was too confused to speak, but she did open her mouth, with the intent of asking more questions. Before any formed, however, he had already returned inside the house, and shut the door in her face.  
  
"You're welcome," she finally said, to the door.  
  
And at Java----  
  
Lorelai walked in a different person than she was just a half hour ago, when she'd bounded in, on top of the world. Now she pouted and walked zombie-like to the counter.  
  
"Wow, that bad," Tom said.  
  
"Well no... but the roof was already finished when I got there, and he still gave me the check, before I could protest, and now I am a thief."  
  
"You don't look like a criminal," Tom said.  
  
"Well I have here, in my possession, which you can clearly see, so I'm not making this up," Lorelai started, holding the check up for emphasis, "a check, made out to ME for a job that I did not do, which means that I am holding money that belongs to someone else, so Tom, I am sorry to ruin for you your dream that everyone in this world is beautiful and honest, because you are, in actuality, looking at a criminal. Sure I am criminal that parades around with pigtails, but I am a criminal nonetheless---"  
  
"No coffee for you," he said, smiling.  
  
She looked up at him. That comment stopped her, and all of a sudden she was thinking about Luke. After a few moments with nothing to say, she finally managed something.  
  
"Well, I know who finished my job, so I won't be a criminal around dinnertime, when I give this person a piece of my mind and their money back."  
  
He nodded, pouring her a cup of coffee. He handed it to her.  
  
"It's on the house," he said.  
  
"Tom, you say that every three coffees, and you punch a thousand holes in my punch card at a time, so I earn a free coffee every six coffees, instead of every twenty, and honestly, this is bad business. I'm gonna run you out of business, myself. And my god, where does my criminal activity stop! First I am stealing other people's money---"  
  
"I wouldn't say stealing, as the check DOES have your name on it---" he said, although he suspected she didn't notice.  
  
"--- and then I'm running perfectly good businesses out of town, and why are you not drinking one too? I can't drink this on my own and you know it!"  
  
Tom smiled at her and poured himself a cup.  
  
"Just wanted to see if you'd notice," he explained coyly.  
  
"You insult me!" she said, feigning shock and hurt feelings.  
  
He smirked. "Cheers," he said, tipping their glasses together and taking a sip.  
  
Lorelai noticed that Tom suddenly seemed a little nervous. He wasn't looking at her and he wasn't smiling, the two things which he usually always did with her.  
  
"Okay, what's up?" she finally said.  
  
He took a breath and looked up at her. "Okay, well speaking of dinnertime-- -"  
  
"We weren't talking about dinnertime," she said, confused.  
  
"Well, before, you said something about giving someone a piece of your mind and their money back at dinnertime, I was just segueing into----"  
  
"---you can't segue ten minutes later, that defeats the purpose of the segue. As a matter of fact, this is the worst segue I've ever seen----"  
  
"Will you have dinner with me?" Tom asked, interrupting her, as if he were trying the bandaid approach at asking her out--- getting it over with fast, so it wouldn't be a long, painful thing.  
  
Lorelai just looked up at him, shocked. She didn't say anything for a few moments.  
  
Tom took this as a bad sign, and blushed, putting his head down. He shook his head and looked the perfect-picture of self-doubt.  
  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have---" he started.  
  
Lorelai held a hand up to him. "No, no, Tom, that sounds fun," she finally managed. "I'm sorry... it's just... okay, I'll just be upfront with you. I'm not exactly looking for anything romantic right now.... which isn't to say I won't be, eventually, or if I end up liking someone, but I recently had my heart broken, and I'm not sure it's back together yet," she said, looking at him very sympathetically. "Tom, let's go out to dinner. But, let's not look at it like a date. Just two friends, hanging out, getting to know each other. And, if we end up liking each other, then we'll go on a date? Could you settle for that?"  
  
Tom managed a small smile through his embarrassment. "That would be... great," he finally managed.  
  
"Great," she said.  
  
And later that night, at Luke's---  
  
Luke walked back behind the counter, where Sookie sat with the baby.  
  
"So, you done with all that SAT mumbo jumbo?" he asked, amusedly.  
  
"Well, it turns out, he likes to hear me read simpler things, like 'The Little Engine That Could', because I use all sorts of different voices. You like that, don't you, Logan? When mommy gets those funny voices!" she cooed, at the baby, while Luke rolled his eyes, still smiling.  
  
"Hello again, Luke," a voice said from behind Sookie. Luke looked up.  
  
"Oh, hi, Lorelai," he said, smiling.  
  
Now confused, Sookie turned to see an older woman heading over to the counter.  
  
"Sookie, this is Lorelai Farrow. She just moved here," Luke explained.  
  
Sookie shook the proffered hand. "Wow, your name is Lorelai?" she asked, before she could stop herself.  
  
The woman laughed and looked at Luke. "Yes. I don't think I'm going to have any problems making friends in this town, since the second I mention my name, it's topic for conversation."  
  
Sookie laughed at looked at Luke, who smiled before walking away to attend to some tables.  
  
Lorelai grabbed the menu and started to read it.  
  
"So, how do you know Luke?" Sookie asked.  
  
"I met him at the market today. He heard my name and started talking to me. We became fast friends!" Lorelai said, excitedly.  
  
Sookie just smiled at her, her mind racing. "I'll bet," she said, more to herself than anyone.  
  
"Okay, so what'll it be?" Luke said, walking back over.  
  
"I think I will have a cheeseburger and fries and, well, is the coffee good here?" Lorelai asked.  
  
Luke was startled by her entire order, as it was the second time today that this woman reminded him of someone else he knew, but eventually he managed, "well, everyone seems to like it."  
  
"Okay, then a nice big cup of coffee, to warm up," she said, still smiling cutely.  
  
Sookie studied Luke's very-readable expression and smiled, satisfied with what she was seeing. And as if the fates were smiling on her, Nicole entered and waltzed proudly and smugly over to the counter.  
  
"Hi, sweetie," she said, as Luke reflexively leaned over the counter to give her a small, quick kiss.  
  
"Hey," he said. He wrote something on the notepad and walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Hi Sookie," Nicole said, smiling at Sookie and the baby.  
  
"Hi Nicole. Oh, where are my manners. Nicole, this is Lorelai, she's new to Stars Hollow," Sookie said, hugging the baby, knowing she would enjoy this.  
  
"You're----" Nicole started.  
  
"---name is Lorelai," Lorelai finished, noticing now that Nicole was looking at her like she had a contagious disease. "And before you ask, I met Luke at the market, he heard my name, we started talking and he said I could have a meal on the house for being new to town," she finished. Nicole walked over to where Luke was standing, as he came out of the backroom and Lorelai turned to Sookie. "Did the temperature in here just drop?" she asked.  
  
Sookie smiled. "Oh, I think it did," she said, giggling.  
  
Nicole leaned into Luke, who was delivering food to a table.  
  
"So, you're making friends now with old women? Or, did you just want to be parading under my nose people named Lorelai all day?"  
  
Luke looked up at her. "I'm sorry, I was under the impression that your problem was with Lorelai Gilmore, not anyone named Lorelai. I mean, should I be telling Rory to stay out too?---"  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Yeah, Rory's NAME is Lorelai. Or maybe I should put a sign outside that says 'We Don't Want No Lorelai's Here', except that then I'd get busted for discrimination, but then hey, maybe you'd get off my back!"  
  
Nicole looked very offended, but then after thinking about it, her expression softened. "I just thought it was interesting. I mean, you never just strike up conversation with strangers."  
  
"Well, she was very nice, and I talked to her. I wasn't aware that I'd get the third-degree from anyone as a result. Last time I checked, we had freedom of speech in this country."  
  
"We do, sweetie, we do. I'm sorry."  
  
Luke just rolled his eyes.  
  
The bell over the door jingled and Lorelai walked in.  
  
"Lorelai!" Sookie exclaimed. She was really enjoying the scene that was rapidly unfolding.  
  
Lorelai Farrow got off her stool and bustled over to Lorelai, who watched the approaching woman confusedly.  
  
"Get out, now!" Lorelai Farrow said.  
  
"Do you work for Nicole?" Lorelai joked.  
  
"I mean it, turn and go! This town is very weird about the name 'Lorelai'," Lorelai Farrow started.  
  
Lorelai looked up and spotted Nicole, talking to Luke. "I don't doubt it," she said, under her breath. She then smiled, still confused. "And you are- --" she encouraged the older woman to introduce herself.  
  
"Lorelai Farrow, I just moved here. I know you'll eventually ask, so I am just saving us time," she said, winking.  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore," Lorelai said, shaking the woman's hand, as realization dawned on her.  
  
"Hi Lorelai," Nicole said, approaching the two Lorelais.  
  
"Hi," they both answered in unison, and Lorelai could hear Sookie giggling from the counter, her back to the scene.  
  
Lorelai held up her hands defensively at Nicole. "First time in today, I swear. Just wanted a cup of Luke's famous coffee."  
  
"Oh, that doesn't matter to me," Nicole said sweetly, and then glanced over her shoulder to see Luke's eyes boring into her. "I was just going to go upstairs and go to the bathroom. Just wanted to say 'hi'."  
  
Nicole turned to go.  
  
"Okay, well 'hi,' then!" Lorelai said. "Love your hair today it's so... straight," Lorelai said, smiling, feeling stupid for not coming up with something better to say than that. She rolled her eyes at herself, as she hated how whenever Nicole was around she turned into a bumbling idiot.  
  
"What was that all about?" the other Lorelai asked.  
  
"Aw, you're new to the town. I don't wanna scare you," Lorelai answered, smiling at the cute, older lady.  
  
Lorelai Farrow smiled and winked at Lorelai, deciding she liked her spunk, and headed back to the counter, where Sookie sat, giggling still.  
  
Lorelai used Nicole's exit as an opportunity to do her business with Luke. She marched over to where he stood, just finishing pouring coffee for another customer. He smiled when he saw her come over.  
  
"Lorelai, anything you want, on the house."  
  
"What is it with you coffee guys always giving me things on the house? It's just bad business. Don't you see that you could make a killing off of someone like me?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"I don't want to make a killing off you. I just want you to come by already," he teased.  
  
"Well I will have a cup of coffee, but I also have a little matter to discuss with you," she said, pulling the check out of her pocketbook.  
  
He put on his best innocent expression. "What's that?"  
  
"What's that. You know exactly what this is. It's your money!" she exclaimed, stomping a foot on the ground, for emphasis.  
  
"It has your name on it," he said, looking at the check now.  
  
"Well I will write you a personal check with YOUR name on it. But THIS is yours! And don't play innocent with me! I know that act. I WROTE that act!"  
  
Luke smiled and tilted his head at her. "I know you did. You've PLAYED that act on me."  
  
"Which is why you of all people should know not to try it with me. You can't cheat the cheater, isn't that the expression?"  
  
He looked perplexed. "I don't think so. Anyway, I don't want the money. It was nothing, really."  
  
"You painted the entire roof!"  
  
"I had help. It was nothing, I swear."  
  
"Help?" she asked.  
  
"Jess," he explained.  
  
"Jess?"  
  
"Yeah, he finally called me from an apartment near Hartford. Looks like he's back for awhile, and managing on his own. He has a job with some bookstore, and his dad is sending him a little money for rent too. So.."  
  
"Wow, he's back, that's great, Luke," Lorelai said, giving him a genuine smile.  
  
"Yeah, so as you can see, it was nothing, really."  
  
"Whatever, then divvy the money up between the both of you, but I'm not keeping it. That's just... criminal!"  
  
"Lorelai, I never would have done it if I thought you'd give ME the money. Keep it, seriously."  
  
"So first you DO my work, I take YOUR money, and now you want me to have free coffee and whatever else on top of that?" she asked, with a hand on her hip, looking impatient.  
  
"That is exactly right. No matter what you do, I'm not taking the money, okay?"  
  
She grimaced at him and then sighed, frustrated. "Fine! But, I owe you one now."  
  
"Come in everyday and we'll call it even," he said, in a deep, demanding but monotone voice.  
  
"No, I need to repay you."  
  
"Fine, then come in everyday, order food, and eventually the amount you spend here will add up and you'll have repaid me," he said.  
  
"Well if you keep giving me food and coffee on the house, that day will never come!"  
  
"I'll keep that in mind," he said, smiling to himself.  
  
She shook her head at him and stomped over to the counter as if she were angry about this. But in truth, she was very happy at that moment.  
  
She sat down next to Sookie.  
  
"Lorelai," Sookie said, to which both Lorelai's replied,  
  
"What?"  
  
Lorelai Farrow laughed. "Okay, this is gonna get confusing. Just call me Lori. A few of my friends do, it's fine, really."  
  
Lorelai shook her head excitedly. "No, no! Even better! We'll get people to call us Farrow and Gilmore! Like, Sookie, if you wanna say something to me, you say 'Gilmore, attention!'" she said, deepening her voice for the imitation, which sounded more like a military order than an imitation of Sookie.  
  
"As appealing as that sounds, I think I'll just call her Lori," Sookie said gently, patting Lorelai's back, as she seemed upset at not being able to be called 'Gilmore.'  
  
"Oh!" Lorelai said, remembering something. "Sookie, you will be happy to know, since you think I am the epitome of pathetic these days, that I am going out tomorrow night on an almost-date."  
  
"An almost-date? Gosh, I've really been out of the dating game a long time, what in heaven's name is an almost-date?" Lori asked.  
  
"I'd be interested to know, too," Sookie added.  
  
"Well, it's when two people go out as friends and get to know each other, and if it goes well, it has the potential to be a pre-date date," Lorelai said, very matter-of-factly, like it was common knowledge.  
  
"Ah," Sookie said. "And who with?"  
  
"Tom."  
  
"Tom from Java?" Sookie asked, looking both shocked and amused.  
  
"That's the one," Lorelai answered, not liking Sookie's expression. She could tell she was thinking... something.  
  
Sookie shook her head and laughed. "Well listen Lorelais, I have to go. This baby needs to have a new bottle and get to B-E-D."  
  
"Sookie, he can't spell yet, I think it's safe to say," Lorelai said, dead- pan.  
  
"Well, it really makes me feel all parent-y when I spell things out," Sookie said excitedly.  
  
"Whatever helps you," Lorelai agreed.  
  
"Okay well, Lorelai, I mean, 'Lori,' it was very nice to meet you!" Sookie said.  
  
"Oh, you too!" Lori said excitedly, clearly genuinely meaning it.  
  
"Listen, once you get settled in, I want to have a welcome party for you! I will cook up a grand array of foods and you can meet everyone!" Sookie said, getting excited just thinking about it.  
  
"But before you get all excited, you should know that 'everyone' is about ten people," Lorelai added playfully, to which Sookie nudged her.  
  
"Well, it sounds lovely!" Lori said.  
  
Sookie smiled at her once more, and walked out.  
  
"I'm just gonna walk her out," Lorelai explained, following Sookie out the door. Once they were outside---"Okay, what was THAT?"  
  
"What was what?" Sookie asked.  
  
"That face? When I said I was having dinner with Tom?"  
  
Sookie laughed. "Nothing."  
  
"Sookie!"  
  
"Okay, okay, it's just amusing. You're dating your new coffee guy and Luke's making friends named 'Lorelai'."  
  
"Well you've met her, she's the sweetest thing! Anyone would make friends with her! She can't help her name!"  
  
"I'm not saying anything... I'm just saying," Sookie said.  
  
"Oh, you're just saying," Lorelai said, mocking her.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well stop. Saying," Lorelai said.  
  
"Okay, I am done saying... what I was saying," Sookie said, still enjoying this whole thing.  
  
"What WERE you saying anyway?" Lorelai asked, after a pause.  
  
"Just that it's interesting! Luke only started talking to her BECAUSE her name was Lorelai. It's not like he met her, talked to her and then asked her her name. He misses you! And you're..... dating.... your new coffee guy!"  
  
"Not dating!" Lorelai said defensively.  
  
"You're ALMOST-dating him!"  
  
"Sookie!"  
  
"Oh, before I forget, you have to come to my karaoke party! Tell Rory and all her new friends and stuff to come. It's five dollars per person, but it's gonna be a blast!"  
  
Lorelai looked at her sympathetically. "I'm waiting for the inn to open too, honey."  
  
Sookie nodded. "That's when the humiliation will really end."  
  
"When is it?"  
  
"Tomorrow," Sookie said, cowering at Lorelai's expression.  
  
"Tomorrow! I have to bring my ALMOST-date to a karaoke party?"  
  
"I know it's last minute, but we have bills coming!" Sookie said, and the baby started to cry just then. "Oops, gotta go. Tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Fine!" Lorelai said, huffing as she headed back into the diner.  
  
Nicole was just leaving as she entered.  
  
"Oh! Hey, Nicole. Again. I... I know this looks like it's my second time in here tonight, but I just left for a second, I still haven't even had the coffee yet," she babbled nervously.  
  
"Okay. That's fine, I don't care," Nicole said gently, like she could not for the life of her understand what had gotten into Lorelai. "I'm just going to get some groceries before we go to bed," she explained, indicating that 'we' meant her and Luke and that she was sleeping upstairs.  
  
"Okay, that sounds great. Good plan," Lorelai continued on her bumbling idiot mission. "I love your shoes. They're really... pretty," she finished, as Nicole looked at her confusedly and smiled, before leaving with a quick "thanks".  
  
Once Nicole was gone, Lorelai sat back down, squeezing her eyes shut, placing her fingertips on her forehead.  
  
"Tense town," Lori said, leaning over to Lorelai.  
  
Lorelai lifted her head and looked at the kind woman next to her. "You have no idea," she simply said. "But I think if we Lorelais stick together, the world will right itself again," Lorelai joked.  
  
"That sounds like a plan!" the older woman laughed, smiling at Lorelai.  
  
"What's this?" Lorelai asked, pointing to the plate that sat in front of her, with a burger and extra fries on it.  
  
"Luke said it was for you, if that's what you're asking, or do you actually not know what the food is?"  
  
"Believe me..... I know what a burger is," Lorelai joked.  
  
"Never thought I'd do this again," Luke said, walking over. He grabbed a large mug from under the counter and placed it in front of Lorelai, pouring her favorite liquid into it.  
  
"Aw, Luke, you remembered!" Lorelai said, smiling.  
  
"Some things are hard to forget," he joked back, but his words echoed in his own head, their truth ringing in his ears.  
  
"How's the ankle?" he asked.  
  
"Much better! The hip?"  
  
"It's fine," he said.  
  
Lori looked from one to the other. "Was there an accident or something?" she finally asked, intrigued by their interaction.  
  
"She fell off a rooftop and landed on me. Nothing unusual if you know HER," he quipped, while Lorelai just squinted at him.  
  
"I'm gonna let that pass since I owe you money now," she settled for saying.  
  
"It's like I've been transported to a soap opera!" Lori said, biting her cheeseburger. "This is great! My grandchildren are gonna love visiting me here!"  
  
Lorelai laughed and sipped her coffee, relishing the taste of it, that specific taste that she had gone too long without.  
  
"What brings you here?" Luke asked Lori, hating how formal he sounded asking her that, but wanting to know why she was moving here now, when she is clearly at the age where she should already be settled somewhere.  
  
"I'm starting over," Lori said proudly, smiling.  
  
Both Lorelai and Luke raised their eyebrows at that, but tried to hide their surprise at that.  
  
"I know what you're both thinking, and let me just tell you, you're never too old and it's never too late to just start over," Lori said, smiling still, but looking a little distant.  
  
Luke looked down, her words hitting him with a vengeance.  
  
"Hey, Luke, I need to pay this and get out of here!" a customer yelled, and Luke walked over quickly, welcoming the interruption.  
  
In a companionable silence, the two Lorelais bit into their cheeseburger, both smiling. Both happy. Lorelai smiled at the elder Lorelai. She had a feeling she was really going to like this Stars Hollow newcomer. 


End file.
